The Journey (2024)

"Go as close as you dare and bring something back" - John Berger on Creativity

This quote highlights the value of the creative experience as an opportunity for growth. It inspired me to think about creativity as a quest, not just a process. Questions that came to mind included, "What am I daring to do?", "How can I represent this idea visually?" and "What do I bring back?"

What am I daring to do?

Going on a quest implies stepping out of your comfort zone and being courageous.

I never know what a painting will look like before I start, so there is always an element of the unknown. I need to have and maintain complete self-belief in both myself and the process. At first I thought the daring aspect would relate to getting close to my innermost emotions, but realised that I was more interested in creativity and transformation.

How can I represent this idea visually?

My challenge was how to communicate creativity and transformation through movement, on a fixed surface. To start with I applied thick lines moving forward, backward and up the canvas. This gave me a structure to build on and an option to scratch back colours. The idea of a quest suggests some kind of treasure, so I experimented with shiny metallic paints. Using masking tape allowed me to save bands of the early layers and communicate a sense of transformation.

What do I bring back?

In myths and legends, quests often end with winning or finding something special. Scientific evidence shows that art making can activate reward pathways in the brain. Even without the data, I know that one of the rewards of painting is that it makes me feel complete. It gives me a physical, mental and emotional space where I can be my truest self.

Some of the bands created by the masking tape on canvas were very different from each other and I needed to find ways to connect and balance them. Mixing and choosing colours carefully, I covered the early geometric layers. Working on paper was different because I didn't use masking tape, instead I scraped back colour with palette knives. The paintings moved beyond their initial colours and shapes to develop their unique forms.

At first I tried to imagine what getting close to the creative process could look like but was distracted by the idea of going and finding something. Half-way through I realised that creativity was inside me all along. The paintings I was producing were a result of connecting both inner and outer worlds. Perhaps part of the reward of feeling complete has to do with this feeling of connection. Between inspiration, reflection and action in decision-making, there is an unknowable human factor, which imagination and curiosity can help unearth. Perhaps another part of the reward is getting glimpses of that.